Something came up recently in my life which really helped me to see the value of communication at work. I saw that by changing one simple thing I could really affect how people communicated with me.

And by changing this one thing I saw that this helped to reduce my stress considerably. People were communicating with me from a much more balanced and calm place, rather than from anger and frustration.

The example I am thinking of happened recently. I had been feeling frustration in a certain area in my life. So from this place of frustration I sent out an email.

Now you might be able to relate to this from your own life - have your ever received angry or frustrated emails? Well, the email I got in reply showed frustration in it and this upset me. I felt is was personal and took it personally.

But as I started to analyze it I realized that no-one else was to blame for how I was feeling. I had created the situation. I had sent out an email in which I was frustrated so this was being reflected back to me - which wasn't nice.

I realized that I don't like receiving angry or frustrated emails from people. In fact, the very day I sent out the frustrated email I received six angry emails from different people. And these emails were just off the cuff correspondences and had nothing to do with the first email I sent - I didn't even know these people.

So what this taught me was: if I communicate from an angry or frustrated place this will come back to me in one form or another. If I come from a calm, balanced and assertive place I receive that in return from people.

How do you feel when you receive angry emails or communication - it hurts doesn't it? Or it provokes an angry response in you?

So the simple thing I would recommend that you do to improve your communication at work or in any area of your life is to be responsible for how you are feeling. Take care of yourself so that when you communicate you are coming from a balanced place and therefore receive balanced communication back in return.

And what if you're not feeling balanced? Take some time out, balance yourself, realize that if you confront someone with your anger you will most likely get anger back in return. If this is what you want fine, but who really likes being shouted at?

The techniques I use to balance myself are: meditation, breathing techniques, yoga, exercise etc. I will write more in following emails but if you want to learn more in the meantime please visit my website at

May you be balanced and calm,

Piers Cross